Raising Children Between Two Cultures

Every Jamaican knows the rule: when you walk into a room, you say “good morning.” Not “hi,” not a nod. Good morning. Manners carry you through the world, our grandparents told us, and they were right.

Every Norwegian child knows a different rule: det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlige klær. There is no bad weather, only bad clothes. Out you go, rain or snow, from the time you can walk.

Raising children in Norway with Jamaican roots means living between these two worlds. Here is what I have learned about getting the best of both.

What Jamaican parenting gives

• Respect. For elders, for teachers, for the community.
• Extended family. Grandparents, aunties and cousins who all have a say. A child belongs to a whole network.
• High expectations. Education is the way up, and children are told so early.
• Faith and identity. A strong sense of who you are and where you come from.

What Norwegian parenting gives

• Independence. Children walk to school alone, climb trees, light fires on trips and are trusted early.
• Outdoor life. Barnehage, Norwegian kindergarten, spends hours outdoors in every season. Friluftsliv, the love of outdoor life, starts young.
• Children’s voices. Norway treats children as people with rights. Physical punishment has been illegal since 1987, and children are encouraged to speak up.
• Equal parenting. Generous parental leave means fathers are present from day one.

Where the cultures clash

Jamaican parents in Norway sometimes feel their authority is undermined when a child says “you can’t tell me that.” Norwegian teachers sometimes mistake a Jamaican child’s respectful silence for shyness, or a Jamaican parent’s firmness for harshness. Children of mixed heritage can feel pulled between two identities, too Norwegian for the Jamaican family and too Jamaican for their Norwegian classmates.

The answer is not to pick a side. It is to explain both worlds to your children, and to give them permission to belong to both.

Why it matters

Few investments return more than time spent with your children and a secure, loving home. And in a world where more families cross borders, children who are comfortable in two cultures grow into adults who can bridge many more.

Three lessons

1. Respect and independence are not opposites. Teach children to honor others and to think for themselves.
2. Give them roots and wings. Tell them the stories of where they come from, and send them outside to explore.
3. Name the differences out loud. Children handle two cultures best when someone explains them.

One action today

Tonight at dinner, tell your children one story from your own childhood, in Jamaica, Norway or wherever you grew up. Then ask them what they think is the same and what is different about their lives.